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Do You Remember?
The smile on your face when I held you
the sparkle in your eye
the care free world we would visit
every time we kissed
just for that moment
it didn't matter
whatever it was
but do you?
1, 2, 3Gimme just three words
those three words
let me hear them
while in your arms
when I'm at my weakest
in that moment I'll find
more than I've ever dreamed
more than I ever could have imagined
three words I ask
1, 2, 3
Give me a chance, Just one chance
To show you what it means to love
Let me in to the beautiful eyes
Pull your heart close
To see you smile is all I want, all I need
From this life and next
With my eyes shut all I see
a warm home
with a loving family inside
This family, so loving, so bold
nothing can stop them,
take their love, make them cold
With a smile on the fathers face
and a kiss "Good Night"
one girl, one boy
he lays in bed waiting
the room dim and the wife near
they kiss and come close
giving a each a gift so rare
For this family is me
for it is the future I see
but one thing is missing
one more thing in this life
the final piece
to this puzzle deep in my chest
This last piece is the hardest to reach
for even money could not buy this
this piece is so warm and so beautiful
so loving, so trusting
Worth all I have to give and more...
This piece is...
Not Lost, But Still SearchingWhat happened to my girl?
What happened to my love?
Such a sweet loving girl
So lost in the game
The more I try
the worse it gets
To keep her head up high
And her happiness in check
All I want is to see my girl again
To see that light once more
I know it's there
I know it's bright
I wish she'd believe me
Just one of these nights
She'd see her light again
The one hidden behind the fears
My life is very slowly moving forward
And no matter what people say
I won't leave my Hobbes behind
Her heart is just stuck in a crooked gear
Just needs some oil to make her see clear
I'm sure she sits tonight
Curled up with fright
Wishing she had someone
Just one person to hold her tight
Each time we fight
It hurts like hell
But I know it's required
To see her well
My Hobbes is there
I know she is
I just want to get her
Back in gear
A Shattered Catch"Here Catch!" I call out with a bright smile, but they turn away.
I stand and watch as it falls to the ground and shatters in a billion little pieces.
I take a deep breath and pull myself together.
After picking up the pieces and piecing them together I call out again. This time with one eyebrow raised as I wonder if they will listen.
"Here catch!" I call out trying to sound just a joyous as before, but alas the sound of shaterring pieces can be heard almost echoing as the world seems vast and empty.
Once again I pick up the pieces and fix it.
I swallow hard and toss it once more. This time my voice full or worry and doubt.
I stare at the pieces. Each one barely thumping now.
Slowly each piece stops, I kneel down and once again pick up the shattered remains of my heart.
The Roller Coaster
My stomach floats up to my throat
My body seems weightless
I feel my hair and clothes lift away from my body as if filled with helium
I watch as we head straight for the ground
Nothing but my back pressed against the seat
I see the rest of the track rushing passed and seem to be rising up
I take hold of her hand
I hold it tightly
She looks to me with a panicked depressed look
I whisper, "I Love You"
and tell her she is safe
The wind rushing past our faces as we barrel down the seemingly endless drop
Pillars and signs whiz past almost attacking
"When will we make the bend back to the top?" She asks
I look to her and smile
"I don't know, but I'll be right here beside you no matter how long it takes"
The Urge To ProtectI look back
I turn back to my show
I repeat this for over and hour
Each time wishing, wanting something
Something I can't have
Something that makes me selfish
I want someone all to myself
To hold, to love, to...
I'm a horrible person...Is it wrong
to want so little
To want their life
to be put on pause
Just for you?
How do you say...Have you ever sat and stared
at all the letters in front of you
wanting, needing to use them
You have him/her in mind
and have so much to say
but there doesn't seem to be any words
that can portray the way you feel
You want to thank them
for all that they've done
for without them you wouldn't be
where, and who, you are now
“what do you want to be when you grow up?”
“multiple versions of myself.”
a little boy uttered these words
when i asked him this question
and i carried the answer like divination
because i stumbled upon this new version
of trains that race tracks
but i can’t help but look back.
death was an old friend of mine
and mercenary of time.
i through nine
as this first variant through time
consider this downloadable content
as i reach contention
because i was never really content
at the age of eleven.
and i had so many questions
about lost connections
and pieces of peace
that were left disconnected.
somewhere in here,
the why defied
the next v years seemed to me
like windows vii was updating itself
nonstop and repeatedly.
even if the adobe had been laid down.
micro atoms replaced and replicated.
soft philosophy wrinkles hard
driving me towards a static system.
I Never Said Thank You Til NowThey once told me that it was wrong,
To romanticize all the horrors I had done to myself;
To not feel like the pallid raised edges on my skin,
Were a part of some torrid love affair with my past.
And at the time, I nodded.
I listened, I did.
I denounced my pain and proclaimed new truth,
Because in a way they were right.
You shouldn't say, "Self harm is okay."
But here's the story that they don't know:
When I was 11, I didn't realize quite who I was,
The things that had been done to me went
Unbidden through my mind like a child at play.
You don't tell an 11 year old what rape is,
You don't tell an 11 year old what suicide means,
You don't tell an 11 year old what self harm is.
You do not tell a child that they just want attention.
When I came upon the white walls to that building,
Confused and unable to understand exactly what I had talked myself into;
I realized that you were already there waiting on me.
Fear gripped me like a nurses hand,
Tempered down with patience and having seen to
Depths of the Dark, Height of the LightDark
Why must I be going through all this visions?
And suffer through all my conditions & decisions?
My faith or destiny is always so adverse..
Am I in the spell of darkness's curse?
But look into the brighter side,
There's always room to light the light!
For I know life is an severe voyage
Everyone has some bit destroyed
But how can I ever satisfy my wills
If everyone is against my very own feels
I'm surrounded by hatred & aversion
How am I going to walk through this version?
Don't get distracted by uncertain creation
Walk to the paths you are having thoughts of sensation
Don't hesitate there's no rights or wrongs.
It's all into your mind that you think it's where you belong
Can't you see I'm trying to survive a sea of heart aches?
All I can do is making everything break!
I'm just a twilight in the gloom
A thing standing on a murky room
Everything has a Positive and Negative;
It's a strong thing in our lives
The RoseEvery Rose,
Despite it's beauty,
It looks innocent,
Has it's thorn.
Be cautious not to bite down
Or to grip too tight,
Your rose will die.
As you hold the Rose,
How many pedals picked away
Until they love you,
But they love you not
And it's a fact
There's nothing you can ever do
To change that.
Before I GoI tie the strings together,
I throw up my arm,
My shoes are up on the wires now,
And it's time for me
To move on.
Bound Hands and Clipped Wings
For the strength
To keep going
To keep living
Friends in my corner
For hearts at my side
For a healed heart
For a saved soul
For a fresh start
For these chains
To be unbound
To open my wings
Let me go
Free me from my chains
Let me soar
S.A.D. / notes on page twoShe sits there in sweater, in madness.
The outsides cold;
The insides colder.
Memories of you Fall back onto me like Autumm leaves;
Forgetting that at one time, they were uplifted by my own roots.
Perhaps I'm just looking to justify this guilt.
Perhaps I'm a hypochondriac.
Perhaps I am looking for a name to the face that left me stranded without a sweater in the Fall weather.
Round & Round
Stuck in cyclical states.
Today I farther
Today I hate.
When I...I sometimes see the world turning either too quickly or too sluggish. The world I see is fickle, never holding onto a proper ideal. I see my life filled with meaning and noise, coming from people I know and the places I've been.
But when I see you…
My heart beat feels shallow and silent.
Sometimes when I’m moving throughout the day, I have a lack of energy. Other times I know I’m on autopilot. Or I’ll just think ahead of myself, looking towards the moment I can stop moving so often and rest without my brain noticing too much.
But when I hear you…
I want to be in that same moment, unmoving and aware of every little detail.
I sometimes feel as though I’m forgetting something important. Sometimes I feel as if I’m merely missing something. Other times I feel as if I have lost something completely, and I don’t know how to get it back.
But when I feel you…
I want to hold on tightly, close my eyes and never wake up from my phantasmal sleep
Ardor's TaleWhile a plague swept among the poor,
And their rulers waged a power war,
An infant watched his parents rise,
Backstab and bribe, more and more.
Noble born and would not bow,
Tried to reveal what lurks inside,
A life of blind and false pride, now,
He only sees corruption hide.
A river of blood to raise them all,
Why did he deserve this place?
But this will be the day they fall,
When he'll choose his given face.
As he marched towards their chamber,
Thoughts on all the years they lied,
Every step seething with anger,
Without warning he broke inside.
"YOU LIED TO ME ABOUT YOUR POWER,
ALL THIS TIME, I WAS A FOOL,
YOU KILLED THOSE WHO RULED, YOU COWARDS,
AND I AM NOTHING BUT A TOOL.
WELL TODAY I SEE MY PATH,
I ACCEPT, AND I GROW STRONGER.
BUT FOR YOU, I HAVE ONLY WRATH,
I AM YOUR CHILD, NO LONGER."
He tore down his own armor of gold,
As the whole council stared in silence.
Turning then, to leave the fold,
"Farewell", he said "your highness."
"STOP!" a scream had come from the king,
Though I Never KnewThough I never knew
The wonders that you hold
Getting to meet
The lady responsible for it all
That changed my life
There's so much
I would love to tell you
You'd love to hear
But rest assured
No matter where you are
Up there, looking down
Or among us
Side by side
Pride and joys
You are missed
By more then you knew
And are loved
far and near
Keep in Touch!
scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More